Is your fear of failure actually a creative process?
As part of my mission to integrate and normalise emotional processes, I’ve been watching how I’m ‘programmed’ to judge a situation completely incorrectly, based on my past experiences (stored emotion).
My frustrations were growing this week as I was developing a model outlining how to use emotion to feel more personal power (rather than feel more out of control and powerless). I found myself in a funk and recognised this creeping feeling of failure coming over me. I began to feel despondent and rather hopeless. I wondered if I was good enough to make a simple application that could be used by anyone, anywhere to feel more excited about their life. (Note to self – do not get on social media at this point!!). I wanted to create something individuals can use, to apply immediately that will be effective in any situation. I have a dream to conceptualise my expertise into a pretty little box (with a bow) that holds a great gift inside for anyone that chooses to open it. To put this into perspective, I’m trying to box up a completely fluid object (feeling) …hahaha!
However, I’d hit a hurdle. I was struggling to simplify my years of experience and felt like a failure.
Of course, I applied my own model and immediately saw what was really going on.
I could see that I was in a creative process. I’d forge ahead and then it didn’t work, so I’d adjust and forge ahead again. I could see how this process of refinement was the process of creation working in my life – and could even see how it applied to my business over the last 18 months. Forging ahead then stopping, refining, forging ahead. Yet in the moments I stopped, I would often feel ‘not good enough’ and I had to effort to get myself back on track and try again. A few times, I got stuck and lost confidence in my vision and hope for my future.
The more I applied my model to my experience around the events of my life, the more I could see that I had always been misinterpreting the Truth.
I was in a creative process. A process is not necessarily linear, predictable or speedy. That’s ok. There’s nothing wrong, I need to do the first thing and then see it not work, so I can discover the 2nd thing. If I don’t create ‘A’, and observe it not working, I can’t create ‘B’. The process can only be a process – dependent on what came before it. Of course, there are anomalies, but we’d have to go into quantum physics for that and it’s Monday morning.
For you, this would mean: There’s nothing wrong with the way you’re operating, what you’re doing, your business, your life. You’re exactly where you need to be – in a process. Without what you’re doing now, you won’t find the next best step.
I’d like to recommend we start replacing the thoughts and words we use around failure, to creation words. If we scrubbed ‘failure’ from our internal computer and instead acknowledged the creative process we would be building our self-esteem, our confidence and adding to the joy we experience in our lives. Sounds like much more fun to me! What do you think?
Sending love, Lisa
Lisa Jayne is an Emotion Specialist, working with individuals and delivering presentations on understanding emotion and using the data it provides to step out of your personal challenges and take back your power to live life naturally, with ease and confidence. You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org